Today is one of those days where I pinch myself, because my life is a goddamned dream, and not just because I only got 2.5 hours’ sleep last night and thus my waking/sleeping distinction is a little fuzzy (mystery solved, by the way–I’m anemic, and it’s going to take a little while of me pounding iron supplements to get all this shit back to semi-normal, or whatever the mammoth-pregnant-lady-who-is-always-uncomfortable version of normal is). I have been wanting to write about the terrible German on the NBC show “Grimm” for years, literal years, since the first time I heard the word Wesen pronounced like wessen and I was like, “Why does Det. Nick Burkhardt keep asking ‘whose,’ ‘whose,’ ‘whose'”? And NOW I GET TO. Complete with a digression about the idiocy of American monolingualism, sure to make me a big hit with the YOUR IN AMERICA NOW SPEAK ENGLISH crowd. Ein Zitat für euch:
You might counter that since Grimm is a fantasy show, it shouldn’t have to have any “real” German on it whatsoever, that, indeed, as someone else has put it, “never once … has NBC claimed that watching Grimm would help you learn proper or conversational German.” That writer then compares the errors made by Grimm—errors pertaining to one of the world’s major languages, a language that actually exists—to nerds complaining about Yoda’s verb conjugations or the proper plural of “Muggle.” Here’s a new German word for you: Faustschlag, which means fist punch, as in what I am doing to my own face right now so as to cope with reading that.
My only regret with this piece is that it was already running a tad long for a BrowBeat post, so I had to cut out a paragraph about Dominic West and Idris Elba doing American accents (it was a tad digressive), and what should have been my second Ali G reference in as many days, something to the tune of: “Funkyzeit mit Brüno is the least-realistic entity ever to grace my television, and yet Sascha Baron Cohen still managed to start each sketch with a very convincing Also jetzt bin ich hier...” (complete with link to what might arguably be called the best Brüno sketch of all time).
Anyway, for some reason I have been really nostalgic for Ali G, so I’ll end today’s semi-coherent self-promotion rambling with: Booyakasha!