(aka, the subtext of everything I ever write! Ha.)
The day “Thesis Hatement” came out (April 5, 2013 — which I only remember because it’s my sister-in-law’s anniversary, and her wedding in San Diego was amazing, Lafayette Hotel pool FTW!), my brother called me and said: “You need to make a Facebook ‘author’ page now. Now!” I believe I answered: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.”
Well, Ben, it only took fifteen months, but I finally listened to you. So, my dearest readers, I’m not sure what I’ll put on there (links back to here! Links to Slate, which I also link to here! EXCLUSIVE original content that’s awesome!), but I hope you might consider “liking” me (and then unfollowing/hiding, like I do with all of my friends’ pet things — JUST KIDDING FRIENDS I LOVE YOU!).
As some of you know, a few months ago my habit of accepting friend requests from strangers on my personal account caught up with me, and I found out the hard way that a lot of my “friends” had Friended me just to have an all-access pass to Mean Town. I was getting 5, sometimes 10 reqs from strangers a day (especially when a viral article came out), and it got to the point that my entire FB feed was strangers, and I was like, you know what? I miss my high-school friends’ baby pics and inspirational quote-photos. Bring those back. It took getting quasi-stalked by an irate Slovene Zizek superfan to get me to change my Facebook name to a nickname, and instate a policy of not accepting Friend requests from anyone I don’t actually know. Plus, I’m pretty sure my high school crush is sick of getting bombarded by links to my own work. So — now, if you want to be bombarded by links to my own work, you can “like” my Official Author Persona Page Thingy. My FB friends are now solely my actual friends, and will be henceforth duly spared from a single link about academic bullshit and me-bullshit ever again.
Yet another splintering of my personalities — sort of like Horcruxes, but for nice people.
In conclusion: please like me. I like you! The end.