Dear Dr. Schuman:
I enjoyed the article you wrote for Slate about unemployedprofessors.com. I liked how smooth that piece was–it really didn’t come off as a paid link job. I own company in that business and was wondering how much you’d charge for a similar article about us. You can write anything you want, of course, as long as there is a link and some discussion of our operations. You can bash us and mock us as much as you wish–all we want is the link juice. Does $1,000 sound reasonable? It would have to be for Slate or Chronicle of Higher Ed. For lesser publications, we’ll have to see.
Please get back in touch at your earliest convenience if you’re interested.
I just saved you $1000–although I really should pay you $1000 for teaching me the valuable lesson never to link to a “business” I find objectionable ever again, so as not to give off even the slightest whiff of the highly mistaken idea that I am somehow for sale. I would rather subsist off of fingernail clippings and my own sense of base-level satisfaction at not being a paid shill, than to take ten cents of your gross-ass money.