Wharfton, CT–It is with great sadness, and accompanied by the appropriate bevy of dirges, that we announce that Narbles, the polo horse of Dr. Brett Betherton Weatherby IV, has succumbed to Horse Measles.

Narbles was more than mere equine entertainment to the Weatherby clan (a Good Family whose roots date back to the Revolutionary War, although they were fighting for England). Narbles was their one true friend. When Binky’s younger sister Wartham Rexford Evelyn Virginia Weatherby III (better known as “Flippy” to friends and family) had that unfortunate incident with the cater-waiter and the forklift, only Narbles refused to shun the Weatherbys for the entire 2003 Hamptons season. When Dr. Brett Betherton Weatherby III was caught up in all that nonsense with the weather balloon and the cannery, it was only Narbles whose giant horse head refused to bow in shame. And when Binky himself was rejected from the doctoral program at Princeton, despite the simultaneous addition of the Weatherby Wing to the Michelin-Star-And-Creepy-Wasp-Hazing Eating Club, it was Narbles who composed a strongly-worded letter to the Vice Provost (or whatever the fuck it is that Princeton has).

In lieu of gifts, small donations ($1000 and up only, please) can be made to the Narbles Memorial Polo Shirt Factory, a sweatshop the Weatherby family plans to erect in the Philippines.

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3 thoughts on “FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

  1. hrmph. I still don’t get it. I mean, OK, yeah, it’s kinda funny, and I can kinda-almost-wouldhave-couldhave-mighthave see how this advances the cause of the revolution, in a HillaryClintonian kind of way (not that Hillary has ever been accused by any vast right wing conspirator of conspiring with a horse to do anything), but…

    I am confused. The jet lag, after just returning from Moscow, isn’t helping either.

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  2. It is as I feared. Such news can be upsetting to those of an urban disposition. Those of us of a more rural disposition tend to see it as part of the cosmic cycle. To urbanised thinkers I say this: think of this an opportunity. Think of the glint that will appear, in otherwise dead eyes, of animal hunger, of the stirring of a lower appendage at the hint of satiety. Or, if you prefer not to think of how senior Faculty men behave when interviewing a female job candidate, think instead of happy dogs and how shiny their coats will be.

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  3. if a horse dies of measles, can you still eat it for dinner? you can’t get measles from horsemeat, can you? or … can you?

    there is something very European about eating a measlesly horse. French, even. Something very Voltairian, if not to say, very Montesquieuian.

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