This one is for the beautiful and jaw-droppingly tough Clarissa:
Yale, Comp Lit, Open Specialization. “We look for broad-ranging comparatists who work in more than one literary tradition, in any genre (poetry, drama, narrative).” I’m sorry, I’m having trouble keeping my fingers still enough to type, so overcome am I with laughter at the 2,000 writing samples those motherfuckers are going to have to comb through. Because literally every single person with a humanities PhD (except me) in the world is doing to apply to this job. Even people with tenure. The position will, however, go to the person who gives Harold Bloom the best blowjob.
(Fun fact: that is a reference to this sublime Mr. Show sketch:)
“But I was the first in my class!”
“…Well, it should be a very good blowjob then!”
More tomorrow. I just finished a really tough work week, where the reality of having three jobs finally caught up with me (total salary: $31,000, which, to be fair, is St. Louis Rich). Serenity now!
PAN KISSES KAFKA 
Thank you for the kind words, dear friend.
Nobody without tenure should even consider applying for a job at Yale. They will be chewed down and spit out. This is a career-ender of major proportions. I’ve seen several of these hopeful, happy new hires who had no idea that their career would be completely over just a few years after they got this “dream job.”
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Absofuckinglutely. Hence, the Harold Bloom blowjob joke (and always a good excuse to link to Mr. Show).
When you are feeling open and up to a trip to the city, I would like to treat you to a manipedi at the spa on me. Or a massage if that’s more your style. Just let me know.
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We could browse bookstores in STL. In my town, all we have is a big-chain store with an enormous Bible section.
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There is a nail spa across the street from Left Bank Books. A beautiful compromise?
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This sounds perfect! 🙂
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Amazing. Just let me know when you feel like heading into the unreal city! I work a lot Mon-Thurs, but Fri-Sun I generally have a very free schedule.
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