that vision-impaired Governor fellow sure plays some mean pinball!

David A. Paterson rightly sums up the John McWHAT THE FUCK situation going on right now:

"If he's the answer, then the question must be ridiculous."

So in the spirit of blog days gone by–and I have decided not to even offer a reason for my all but blog demise this summer, though the reason is lack of internet access at home, if you must know–I'd like to offer a few ridiculous questions to which "John McCain" can be the answer:

  1. Who has made such an impressive transition from "maverick" centrist to full-on reactionary in eight years that he makes Joe Lieberman look like Eleanor Holmes Norton?
  2. Who thinks that all of America's problems can be solved by filling his seven houses' swimming pools with oil drilled from off the California coast (but not the coastline in front of one of said seven houses; somewhere else, preferably where poor people live!)?
  3. When did Spiro Agnew and Antonin Scalia procreate, how did they manage to do it, and what is their spawn named?
  4. Who, if, elected, will cause me to renounce my U.S. citizenship while abroad (JUST FUCKING AROUND, Fulbright commission, I plan to return to the States directly after my grant period expires and share my newfound international knowledge with my countrymen–or at any rate, trade my remaining twelve euros for enough money to buy off at least one of John McREALLY ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING SERIOUS, AMERICA, HOW FUCKING DUMB CAN YOU GET's seven houses, since even he will have had to mortgage them to the Chinese by then)?
  5. GET OFF MAH LAWN! Oh, wait, that's not a question, but it IS something a weird old sovereign-nation-in-his-backyard declaring moneybags might say.

Fuck everyone.
(Well, maybe not you; you were nice enough to read this much).

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