Extry Extry! New dispatch from the Department of No Shit Sherlock!

THIS JUST IN: dumb racist hillbilly assholes don't like Barack Obama in huge droves! Whatever in the world is he to do? I got another news flash for you, Pudit Universe: no Democrat has ever needed a majority of the Dumb Racist Hillbilly Asshole vote to win the White House, only that valiant percentage who understand that Barack Obama will do things that are far, far, far more in their interests than John McCain will–John McCain will send the rest of their jobs to Bangalore and their kids to Iraq (and Iran) and then make sure those kids, if they are lucky enough to return from Iraq/n in one piece, never get to go to college or get a good job and are disqualified from health insurance for the rest of their lives because of their 'preexisting condition' of PTSD they got from being in Iraq/n for ten years straight. Ahem. Anyway. All's I'm saying is that Barack Obama should continue with his 50 state strategy just how he's doing. Anyone who spends time listening to him, really listening to him, realizes that the change he wants to bring (not to use his buzzword, but it's true) appeals in at least partial measure to every single member of the political spectrum except, perhaps, the Bushes and the Cheneys themselves. BUT FUCK THEM. THEY got where they are by pandering to dumb racist hillbilly assholes and did those dumb racist hillbilly assholes' lives get any better during the last 8 years? No, their jobs got shipped to Bangalore and their kids got shipped to Iraq. Here are the people who should vote for John McCain in good conscience in November:
1) millionaires and billionaires (he'll cut your taxes even more and give you rewards for shipping the rest of your remaining jobs overseas, except of course for your domestic servants, who will continue to be undocumented laborers from other countries whose work ethic and desperation you abuse);
2) soldiers who want to die or get dismembered
3) people who can't afford to go to college but sincerely want to enlist and become soldiers and die or get dismembered
4) the executive board of Halliburton
5) the Bushes and Cheneys

Everyone else–even you gay-hating, gun-totin', racist ignorant hillbilly types–will actually be better off–safer, freer, more secure, happier, more prosperous–under Barack Obama.

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