the only five things that are acceptable to wear on the buttocks of sweatpants

  1. "Saving It For Marriage" (with the optional "This Cushion Ain’t for Pushin’")
  2. "Die Welt vom Innen ist der Wille zur Macht und nichts ausserdem" (look it up)
  3. "I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT MY ASS BECAUSE I HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM"
  4. "If I Could Actually Fit a Corporate Logo IN my Ass, I Would, Except Then You Wouldn’t See It"
  5. "Rusty Trombones $20"
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