Dear Albie,

Mother is sending you under separate cover a carton of cigarettes, and I understand some Hersheys and a very beautiful portrait of a very beautiful girl. I know when you see this girl you will want me to make a match for you with her. Let me know what you think, and if you like her I can fix it up for you. She hasn’t any money but she has a good heart. She weighs 122 pounds. Now, if all these qualifications meet with your approval, let me hear from you.

Love, Dad

This very beautiful girl was not my Great-Aunt Betty (also no longer alive), and nobody knows anything more about her (or at least all the people who do are dead), so I thought on a whim I would put this on the Internet on the bizarre off-chance that any descendent of the very beautiful girl might have some sort of epiphany. Though if the family a) never managed to procreate and b) never got any money, they probably a) no longer exist and b) don’t have a computer (that is my fantastic logic skills at work, in case anyone interested in logic may or may not be reading this, not that anyone would).