Someone named "Claude" suggests:
"The quantity and quality of the comments for your blog suggest your site sucks and you are a self-absorbed asshole who would do the world a favor by dropping out of grad school and committing suicide.
Wouldn’t that be verruckt!?!?!?!"
You might think that this is kind of harsh (or else the kind of "tough love" my friends like to practice here, like my no-bullshit roommate Alex or the ultimate gruffster, Ben–and not my brother Ben, a different one, although my brother is also an excellent no-bullshit gruffster, although unfortunately does not know the German word for "insane"), but please remember that every person in the universe is chained to a computer Clockwork-Orange style, and forced to read this stupid blog for seventeen hours, so that since they are prohibited from voluntarily not reading anything I write, they have no recourse but to make such comments, as it is their only tiny sense of accomplishment against the relentless media domination I currently have.
Ah, well, Claude–the quantity and quality of your blog-comments suggests that you use the Internet to practice the one word of German you know (and it’s a good one, so nice!), and that you are obviously some sort of Western Jay-breeding, Farfel-owning, parking-lot-hogging, Niezsche-hating, minivan-driving, baby-having Irvine frat boy who hogs the arm-curl machine at the gym and resents me a year in advance for giving you a C in German 1A next fall. Although, if you were an Irvine frat boy, you probably wouldn’t know how to use capital letters, so never mind. Anyway, I’m sorry if I managed to offend you even more than the rest of the Internet has, but the other two people who read this fucking thing actually don’t mind the self-absorbed ranting, because I have been so swamped with grad school and all that pesky being-alive that I don’t call anyone (that is also because my apartment is made of particle board and a staple and yet still gets no phone reception); also, if they get annoyed they can just, oh, I don’t know, make like the rest of the world and not fucking read it! Now that’s verruckt.