Bill O’Reilly is right. We have nothing to offer the world, and all that reading accomplishes nothing except a heightened sense of cruelty.


*No, but listen. We didn’t kill the bunny. The bunny was already dead. The UCI campus is completely crawling (or rather, hopping) with wild bunnies and I don’t know whether you know this, but bunnies=dumb. Bunnies think that if they hold really still, you can’t see them. This one met the wrong side of a car (although, for a bunny, is there a right side of a car?) and the caring nurturers at my McStudent Housing (TM) have decided that picking up roadkill is for fatties (which I kind of have to agree with–the bunny murderer should have cleaned up his mess. Rabbit stew. HASENPFEFFER!!!), but I digress.