eight years of higher education have given me a marvelously astute, wry, highbrow sense of humor

Two nights ago, my life’s ambition was reached.


A FAMILY sits at at the FAMILY DINNER TABLE, enjoying a MEAL TOGETHER. DAVID (60, scrappy but a bit laid up due to a very recent hip replacement) sits diagonally from SHARON (59, perpetually distracted by any number of understandable factors), who sits across from REBECCA (in the final throes of 28, a bit losery, "visiting" protractedly, slightly mentally unstable). They eat GRILLED SALMON Sharon has cooked.

Well, I think I’ve managed to steal, rummage up or inherit just about every piece of furniture I could possibly need for my sweet graduate school apartment I will be moving into in two weeks and thusly not living with you guys anymore.

Sharon smiles accomodatingly. David stuffs his face with salmon.

Yep…pretty much all I need now is a dickfer.

David rolls his eyes.


Rebecca erupts into an eight-year-old-style giggle fit.


Rebecca covers her mouth.

What did you say you needed?

David relents and comes to his inept daughter’s resuce.

A ‘dickfer.’

What’s a dickfer?


…now I can die fulfilled.

3 thoughts on “eight years of higher education have given me a marvelously astute, wry, highbrow sense of humor

  1. Ha! I know I’m an innocent, but WTF is a dickfer? Motherfucker oil trader has not called since second date last wednesday–just got bak from miami on sunday, but STILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  2. wtf is up with oil trader mcgee, steph?!? that is bs!!! maybe he’s trying to play it cool so as not to feel like a dork.
    the “dickfer” bit is to get someone to say something dirty by accident. i.e. “What’s a dickfer?” and then you answer, “For fucking, silly.” It’s a very old and VERY immature joke and the fact that you don’t know it is a testament to your classy upbringing and lack of base, shallow, 8-year-old style bathroom humor. Or, you know, “humour” if you’re being classy.


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