Two nights ago, my life’s ambition was reached.

INT. – MY PARENTS’ HOUSEHOLD, EVENING.

A FAMILY sits at at the FAMILY DINNER TABLE, enjoying a MEAL TOGETHER. DAVID (60, scrappy but a bit laid up due to a very recent hip replacement) sits diagonally from SHARON (59, perpetually distracted by any number of understandable factors), who sits across from REBECCA (in the final throes of 28, a bit losery, "visiting" protractedly, slightly mentally unstable). They eat GRILLED SALMON Sharon has cooked.

REBECCA
Well, I think I’ve managed to steal, rummage up or inherit just about every piece of furniture I could possibly need for my sweet graduate school apartment I will be moving into in two weeks and thusly not living with you guys anymore.

Sharon smiles accomodatingly. David stuffs his face with salmon.

REBECCA
Yep…pretty much all I need now is a dickfer.

David rolls his eyes.

SHARON
What?

Rebecca erupts into an eight-year-old-style giggle fit.

SHARON
What?

Rebecca covers her mouth.

SHARON
What did you say you needed?

David relents and comes to his inept daughter’s resuce.

DAVID
A ‘dickfer.’

SHARON
What’s a dickfer?

(Rimshot!)

…now I can die fulfilled.

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3 thoughts on “eight years of higher education have given me a marvelously astute, wry, highbrow sense of humor

  1. Ha! I know I’m an innocent, but WTF is a dickfer? Motherfucker oil trader has not called since second date last wednesday–just got bak from miami on sunday, but STILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. wtf is up with oil trader mcgee, steph?!? that is bs!!! maybe he’s trying to play it cool so as not to feel like a dork.
    the “dickfer” bit is to get someone to say something dirty by accident. i.e. “What’s a dickfer?” and then you answer, “For fucking, silly.” It’s a very old and VERY immature joke and the fact that you don’t know it is a testament to your classy upbringing and lack of base, shallow, 8-year-old style bathroom humor. Or, you know, “humour” if you’re being classy.

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