The best thing about leaving a place ostensibly forever is that you get to do massively self-obsessed things in the name of closure. Therefore at yesterday’s 10-hour beer-and-Becherovka debacle, after about eight and a half hours of beer and Becherovka, I decided to ask each of my friends about their first impressions of me. Here they are.
Eva: "You had sad eyes and were a little abrasive."
Jason: "You were forceful."
Adam: "What do you mean, the time you wrote me fan mail in 2001 or when I met you for real?" (he never did cop to an actual impression, though…interestingly)
Brittany: "You were REALLY INTIMIDATING and I thought you were MEAN AND SCARY." (Brittany is my best friend)
Audrey: "You had those things on your wrists and I thought you thought you were too cool for me." (I have carpal tunnel syndrome and sometimes wear "Black or White" era Michael Jackson wrist braces to work; they are super hot)
Frank: "I liked your Verve stickers but I thought you were really loud."
Jason: "I would like to revise my impression to include ‘Loud.’"
Me: "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"