I have been trying to leave Oregon for two days now. An ice storm hit right before I was supposed to take off yesterday and it’s all gone downhill since. Highlights include: the entire Portland airport having one golf-cart full of expired de-icing fluid to serve its fleet, me oversleeping today and barely missing my new flight this morning (at 6am), me leaving my wallet at my brother’s apartment and returning (again) from the airport, the airport train shutting down yesterday and me waiting in line outside in the 20 degree weather for a godot-like bus, the hippies in Oregon refusing to salt anything resulting in completely iced over roads, sidewalks, everything, and finally, awesomely, most kickassedly: due to aforementioned ice on everything, I just five minutes ago walked in my socks from the MAX to my brother’s apartment because my shoes kept slipping on the ice and I actually got stuck–STUCK–trying to go up a sidewalk wheelchair ramp-curb thing and had to either crawl or use the heat from my feet to melt the ice slightly so it would stick to them and I could walk. I chose the latter, and let me tell how how awesome I looked walking down the streets of downtown Portland carrying a duffel bag, in my socks. I fit right in with the homeless people. What’s even awesomer is that I am going to miss a night of work tonight and after a week’s vacation it is not something I can really afford to do–not that I’m afraid I’ll get fired (well, I am perpetually afraid of that), but that I make an hourly wage and desperately needed tonight’s pay. So I am going to sell some of my CDs and books when I get home and try to recoup a little bit of cash; unfortunately my old ‘poor person diet’ of egg sandwiches is out the window due to last week’s unfortunate food poisoning event; perhaps the Age of Ramen has begun. I often hear my religious friends talk about God’s divine plan for people, especially when things are down. "Don’t despair–God has a special plan just for you." This has lead me to believe that God’s plan for me is to a) remain in Portland indefinitely and b) purchase a pair of ice skates for transportation. Oh! Perhaps God wants me to take up where Tonya Harding left off?!?!? Perhaps God wants me to walk around barefoot on the ice until the frostbite makes me go crazy and I club someone in the knee! That’s IT.