Anyone got any tips on how to magically convince the magic computer machine that runs the hive mind of the GRE that one is a big smart smartypants that deserves to be admitted with full kickass fellowship into Columbia, My Current Place, CUNY, UC Irvine, and USC to earn a super awesome PhD? I have managed to amass one and two-thirds master’s degrees without taking this goddamned test, but now I’m stuck. So I figured I’d get it over with quickly and I’m going in on Saturday. Anyone with past GRE experience is welcome to offer condolences. Pleh.

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