As all two of you know, I am obsessed with fundamentalist conservative Christians and their resultant blogs. So I was reading one today, and the author was parroting what all these Liddy Dole types are saying now, “Freedom OF religion doesn’t mean freedom FROM religion.” Well, all right, except it does mean freedom from your religion infringing upon my religion. Now technically, I don’t have a religion because I don’t really believe in God per se, but if I did, it would be one they call…how you say…”Jewish.” {I think of myself as culturally Jewish because I have a Jewish name and look really Jewish, and my dad is Jewish and I am close to my dad’s side of the family but not my mother’s as much. They’re really nice people, don’t get me wrong, they’re just “not fucking rich like David’s” as my mom puts it, so we don’t have reunions unless someone gets married or passes away. But I digress.}

What I’m saying is that even though I’m not Jewish, I am Jewish. And nothing is more hurtful to Jews or half-Jews or sort-of-Jews or agnostics than having Christianity shoved in our faces all frickin’ day, especially when the people doing it are materialistic, or greedy, or hypocritical, or un-Christlike in other ways.

It also hurts Jews (and other non-Christians) when Christians, who hold an eighty percent majority in America, act like they are persecuted and suffering just because their Messiah was persecuted and suffering. Jews, Arabs, North Koreans, Albanians, Kurds and pretty much anyone but Christians have the monopoly on persecution and suffering in modernity (actually, in any time after about 200 A.D.), and one of the things that makes us feel persecuted and suffery is when Christians try to turn America into a Christian police state.

Another thing this ranty blogger was saying (inarticulately, I might add) is that “separation of church and state does not mean separation of church FROM the state.” Uh, yes it does. That’s what it means. THAT IS WHAT IT MEANS, you grammatically-challenged maroon! What? What? What else could it possibly mean? I don’t understand people sometimes. Of course this is the same blog that calls John Kerry a “flip-flopper” because he is pissed off about the assault weapons ban being lifted but supports hunting weapons. This fucking blog quotes, QUOTES him saying he’s an avid sportsman and supports rifle and shotgun ownership but that semi-automatic and automatic weapons have no place in civilian hands. THAT. IS. NOT. A FLIPFLOP. YOU. STUPID. AAAARGH! I’ve got agita! I’m freaking out. Conservatives make my eyeballs set themselves on fire.

This is what is wrong with conservatives: They just parrot whatever it is people tell them to say, and don’t realize or care that it makes no sense because usually they don’t know what the words mean in the first place (this person spelled “assault” without the u so I can’t even believe I’m giving her any thought at all, Christ). You guys, we can not let this country be controlled by zealots and jackasses and subliterates anymore. WE CAN NOT. I MEAN IT. If John Kerry doesn’t win in November there is going to be chaos in the streets, and I will move to fucking Canada.

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