November Challenge: SEND YOUR BUTT to a search committee!

I made this offer on teh Twittarz today, and I re-iterate it here:

Any job marketer who can provide documented proof that s/he sent a scan of his/her butt as “evidence of teaching excellence” will receive $100 via PayPal, from me.

SOME RESTRICTIONS APPLY:

  1. It MUST be an actual academic position in your discipline, for which you are qualified but for which you chose not to apply for one reason or another.
  2. You MUST have the degree necessary to be considered for this position, in the correct discipline (yes, I know, my butt contest has a barrier to entry).
  3. You must provide proof that you did this somehow. This includes BCC’ing me on an email, or actual CC’ing me on real-mail with a tracking number so that I can check the receipt of the original. 
  4. I will do this for up to two people, which equals roughly the amount of money one piece of legitimate journalism pays me. First-scanned, first served.

ALLOWED:

  1. Your butt scan may be cleverly wedged in a set of evaluations, so that it is possible your search committee won’t even see it
  2. Your butt scan can be smaller than actual size (I know I’d have to do this to fit it in any envelope or on any regular sheet of paper).
  3. Your butt scan can be otherwise disguised so as to “sneak it in,” but still MUST be recognizable as a butt. I will be the final arbiter of butt-image accuracy, no appeals.

Is anyone brave/cynical/reckless enough to do this? 

We’ll see…

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “November Challenge: SEND YOUR BUTT to a search committee!

  1. 1. Does it need to be a scan (our scanner is very tall)? Is a picture okay instead?
    2. Must the butt be unclothed? Or is a butt-shot in jeans okay*?

    * Because, seriously, I can totally work in an extra figure referencing my “genes/jeans” in a proposal about comparative genomics. I just saw a great “gene/jean conversion” pun costume for halloween that could totally play well in an application.

    Search committees have a sense of humor, right?

  2. Hahaha… oh, wait, you’re not joking.

    So, I probably shouldn’t have put that joke in my last Cover Letter? (Really, I did, and I’m proud of it. Not a butt scan, but still made my day.)

  3. Anonymous

    “My my my. With such a JUVENILE sense of hyoomurr there is certainly many a reason you were not allowed into our ivory tower. Ohohohohoho!”

  4. Anonymous

    I have tears running down my face. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. I’m getting visions of search committee chairs downloading candidates’ application materials and collectively going, “DAFUQ?!”

    • I secretly hope nobody does it because I don’t really have $100 to give out willy-nilly, but I also think it will be worth it. A friend mentioned that I could always do a Kickstarter or rather a Buttstarter.

  5. RW

    Curses! Just a week too late — I surely would’ve included a buttscan to point out my ample qualifications to serve as faculty mentor for this student group at Sweet Briar! http://www.traditions.sbc.edu/bum_chums.html?tap_clubs

  6. notfromaroundhere1

    This made my day!

  7. Lizzz

    I think you should add a corollary that the person owes YOU $100 if the butt shot actually gets him/her the job.

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